Conspiracy Theory, 1997

Director: Richard Donner

Stars: Mel Gibson, Julia Roberts, Patrick Stewart

Crazy, paranoid conspiracy theorists shouldn't be this handsome.

Don't get me wrong, Mel does a great job, I think. You can't help but think he's totally dreamy because he's Mel, even though he lives in an apartment that has a combination lock on everything, even the canisters of food inside the locked fridge. And he has to purchase a copy of The Catcher in the Rye every time he goes to a bookstore.....

Jerry (Gibson) is a paranoid conspiracy theorist-- but this guy isn't just crazy for no reason: he's got lots of secrets of his own. His lawyer friend Alice (Roberts) soon gets caught up in his troubles as well. But some things don't add up, and Alice begins to investigate with Jerry the mystery behind Dr. Jonas (Stewart) and his secret project.

It's a bit hard to explain. It's hard for me to explain, anyway. (Wikipedia has got it covered, so I don't have to.) It's a thriller, and just to warn you, there are some torture spots. Not fun! But there are a few funny moments- Jerry's lines can be quite amusing.

Salt, 2010

Director: Phillip Noyce

Stars: Angelina Jolie, Liev Schreiber

Besides having fun with writing my own opinion, the whole point of this blog (for anyone who reads it) is to give a review for the purpose of either sharing my excitement and enjoyment of a film, or my disgust; and then telling my audience so that they too don't waste their time!!!! Because time is SO important; it is the one thing you cannot get back.

SPOILER WARNING: Okay, if you're looking for an action movie, and you don't care about justice being done, go ahead and watch it. It was so awful. I mean, well put together and everything, with crazy action (jumping from truck to truck on speeding freeways), but I hated the story. Here's a question I don't think they answered: she shot a lot of people- were all of them just poisoned with the spider venom she used to fake one guy's death? Because if not, she killed a whole lot of innocent people, and even if she did kill the really bad guy in the end, she still killed all those people beforehand. So I'm a bit confused and because of all the killing I just wasn't on her side.

Bottom line: It was like watching The Fugitive and finding out in the end that Richard Kimble actually did kill his wife, and just got away with it. Which isn't fun.

G.I. Joe: Rise of the Cobra, 2009

Director Stephen Sommers
Stars: Channing Tatum, Marlon Wayans

Last night Matt and I were browsing through Netflix, trying to find something to watch. You know those days when you just want to watch a movie you've never seen before? I suggested an episode of Bones, or "You Only Live Twice" (because sometimes I just want to watch a Bond film). But no. We finally agreed on G.I Joe: Rise of the Cobra.

Wow. We expected to make fun of it the whole time, and we were definitely not disappointed, in that respect. Fans of Mystery Science Theater (and we are) will love this film.

As we watched G.I Joe, it felt like we were watching several action movies. It was almost like it took features from all kinds of action movies and tv shows and brought them together. Just a few of the movies that it brought to mind:
-Star Trek
-martial arts films, since it was full of martial arts
-Superman (there was a place in the Arctic surrounded by snow and ice, it just felt like a fortress of solitude)
-Independence Day
-Top Gun
-Doctor Who (one of the bad guys was the Doctor, played by Christopher Eccleston; I was really expecting the Daleks to come around the corner, crying, "Exterminate! Exterminate!")
-Every single Star Wars film, but especially-
-Star Wars Episode 1 (it even had Ray Park, who played Darth Maul)
-The Mummy (heck, it even had the guy who plays the MUMMY!!!!)

That is something worth mentioning- the cast was truly an all-star cast! I had no idea Dennis Quaid was in the movie, and he is always fun to watch, of course. It was very interesting to see who else popped up (we had to look up quite a few people as we watched, including Ray Park, since he apparently plays roles with masks or paint on his face, does anyone know what Ray Park actually looks like in real life?). Joseph Gordon Levitt, that guy who plays the Mummy in the Mummy (Arnold Vosloo), and ---this was the best part of the WHOLE movie---Brendon Fraser!!!!! His part lasted about 15 seconds, but that truly made the movie for me.

Bottom line, if you want to make fun of a movie with friends, this one is perfect!