The Postman, 1997

Director: Kevin Costner

Stars: Kevin Costner, Will Patton, Larenz Tate, Olivia Williams, Scott Bairstow

It's 2013. Wars and diseases have killed off most of the people on the planet, and in the US, small groups of people band together in their towns, and fear the outsiders. The Postman (Costner) wanders around performing Shakespeare for the townspeople, trying to brighten their lives a little.

This movie seems to have two parts (it's based on a book): in the first part, Costner's character is shanghaied by a group of soldiers ruled by a man who wants to take over the world, basically. He runs an army of slaves and kills anyone who can't keep up.

Eventually, Costner escapes and wandering through the woods, comes upon an old, wrecked Postal Service jeep, filled with letters and packages. He decides to take them to the nearest town, and deliver them to the people there. He impersonates a Postman and tells the people that the United States is a nation again, with a new government and everything. He is only doing this to be fed.

So, eventually there's a showdown between The Postman, who has united the people again, and the psycho who wants to rule the world.

There's a LOT of violence, so don't watch this if you can't take violence. And there is one sex scene, through which I fast-forwarded, but it seemed to go on for a while anyway, and you basically see her naked.

So, yeah, not for kids, but in the end, it's ok. I thought I would hate it, but I ended up kind of liking it.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, 1969

Director: George Roy Hill

Stars: Paul Newman, Robert Redford

"Kid, who's the best lawman?"

"Best?.... You mean the toughest, or easiest to bribe?"

Bank robbers Butch (Newman) and Sundance (Redford) lead the famed bank-robbing "Hole in the Wall" gang, that is until some pretty big hot shots decide to put a price on their heads. So, they head to Bolivia, for a change of scenery (to prolong their lives), and continue their lovely lifestyle down there. Until the law catches up with them again.

This is a classic. Absolutely hilarious, and beautiful. Very interesting ending. I love it and hate it. The end, I mean. I really like the movie; it's very worth the 2 hours!! I promise! (I've seen it twice!) And did I mention Paul Newman and Robert Redford are in it?? Dreamy!!

NOTE: William Goldman wrote the screenplay; he's also the writer of The Princess Bride (the novel and the screenplay), The Ghost and the Darkness, and Maverick, among many others. Thanks, Mr. Goldman-- I'm a fan!

Texas Lady, 1955

Director: Tim Whelan

Stars: Claudette Colbert, Barry Sullivan

I don't like to give negative reviews, but I just don't want people to waste their time. This wasn't awful ( I mean, it was no where near Deathproof-- I wish I could erase that from my memory and get that 2 hours back!), but it was just pointless.

A woman (Colbert) wins a lot of money playing poker, and the guy she played was a card shark (Sullivan) who had won thousands from her father, who then killed himself. Her father, I mean. So, she figures it's justified that he practically killed her dad, and she killed his reputation at being the best at cards.

Major SPOILER: So she moves to Texas where her father had a newspaper, and she starts to run it, and the town is being controlled by two big shots who own all the land. And there's a lone cowboy/idiot who randomly kills whoever he wants and gets away with it, and she dances with and kisses him. Then the card shark comes looking for her (the woman who destroyed his reputation), because he apparently likes her, so lone cowboy decides the card shark must die, and they have a little showdown, but nobody dies. (Totally lame.) Then the cowboy gets killed by a widow of one of the guys he recently murdered. And it's about time someone just shot him--- where was the sheriff???????

Then, and this could be wrong because I was NOT giving this dumb western my full attention, I am pretty sure in the end, the two big shots who wanted to run the town just decided to leave because the people had turned against them. And the Texas Lady (Colbert) told them they were ridiculous.

I would call this a very "scattered" Western. It felt way too busy. Too many little stories and anti-climaxes. Is that a word?